{"id":133301,"date":"2023-11-05T00:40:48","date_gmt":"2023-11-05T00:40:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bluemull.com\/?p=133301"},"modified":"2023-11-05T00:40:48","modified_gmt":"2023-11-05T00:40:48","slug":"why-mums-feel-so-lonely-and-nine-tips-to-combat-it-the-sun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bluemull.com\/lifestyle\/why-mums-feel-so-lonely-and-nine-tips-to-combat-it-the-sun\/","title":{"rendered":"Why mums feel so lonely – and nine tips to combat it | The Sun"},"content":{"rendered":"

YES, motherhood is a joyful and rewarding experience, but it can also be a difficult one.<\/p>\n

A misconception is that mums are so busy that they don\u2019t have the time to feel lonely, but a recent UK study found that 90% of mums have felt lonely since having children. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Plus, 54% said they felt \u201cfriendless\u201d after giving birth, 80% said they want more \u201cmummy friends\u201d and three in five admitted to hiding their feelings.* <\/p>\n

All in all, this can make a mum feel isolated \u2013 even when she\u2019s surrounded by others. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s important to realise that loneliness and being alone are two very different things,\u201d says Anna Mathur, psychotherapist, mum of three and author of Raising A Happier Mother. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can be surrounded by other people, sitting next to a family member or partner, but not feel truly supported. <\/p>\n

READ MORE ON PARENTING<\/h2>\n

<\/picture>Top tips <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a child sleep expert – how to ensure you get a lie-in when the clocks change <\/h3>\n

<\/picture>MUM'S THE WORD <\/span><\/p>\n

I hate being a mum but trolls say I shouldn\u2019t be able to express how I feel<\/h3>\n

"In reality, the chattiest and busiest person in the room may be acutely lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n

WHY DO MUMS GET LONELY?<\/h2>\n

Mothers can feel lonely at all stages of the parenting journey. <\/p>\n

When you become a parent for the first time, you may find that it\u2019s a world away from the picture-perfect life you thought it would be. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

As you go through parenthood, you\u2019ve got a never-ending to-do list and burnout chronically on the horizon. <\/p>\n

Most read in News Health<\/h2>\n

<\/picture>RASH DECISION <\/span><\/p>\n

Tell the difference between a rash & little-known sign of killer skin cancer<\/h3>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/picture>HAIR ME OUT <\/span><\/p>\n

What your eyebrows reveal about your health – and when you really need to worry<\/h3>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/picture>DEATH DEFYING <\/span><\/p>\n

Breast cancer death rates HALVED since 80s thanks to ‘immense’ breakthroughs<\/h3>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/picture>TAKING THE PEE<\/span><\/p>\n

Always up at night to pee? It could be a little-known sign of silent killer<\/h3>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Then the kids move out and you\u2019re left with an empty house.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In any scenario, loneliness always has the same roots. \u201cLoneliness is disconnection,\u201d says Anna. <\/p>\n

\u201cTo feel connected we must feel seen, acknowledged and valued. <\/p>\n

The \u2018I\u2019ve got this!\u2019 mentality is a common symptom of the motherhood fantasy, and finds us scraping together resources we don\u2019t have to spare, turning down offers of support, or putting on a brave face when what we need is a hug.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being a mum can also change friendships and romantic relationships.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt often challenges identity, finding you reassessing who you are and how you want to spend the time that you do have,\u201d Anna says. <\/p>\n

So, how do you beat the loneliness?<\/p>\n

BE VULNERABLE<\/h2>\n

The first and most important antidote to loneliness is to bring the walls down. <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen someone asks how you are, go beyond: \u2018I\u2019m OK\u2019 when you can,\u201d Anna says. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t need to make ourselves emotionally vulnerable with everyone \u2013 choose two or three people who have historically been kind and supportive, and be honest, so if you hit bumpy times, those connections are there.\u201d<\/p>\n

TUNE INTO A PODCAST<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s surprising how listening to a stranger\u2019s voice can help battle loneliness. <\/p>\n

A study by the University of Queensland found that podcasts can satisfy some of our basic psychological needs, including social connection. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

There are lots of parenting podcasts that are relatable, funny and come with a community of listeners to engage with. <\/p>\n

Try Rob Beckett And Josh Widdicombe\u2019s Parenting Hell, The Motherkind Podcast and Happy Mum, Happy Baby.<\/p>\n

SAY NO<\/h2>\n

It may sound counter-intuitive, but avoid accepting every social invitation. <\/p>\n

If you carefully select events you want to attend, you can feel energised and ready to socialise. <\/p>\n

Maybe you need more time for yourself, but avoid withdrawing. <\/p>\n

\u201cAsk yourself if you\u2019re seeking solitude to refuel and reset, or because you fear burdening someone or being misunderstood,\u201d Anna suggests.<\/p>\n

ATTEND WEEKLY CLASSES<\/h2>\n

By going to the same class every week, such as mum-and-baby swimming, you\u2019ll see the same parents, who are likely to have kids of a similar age. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to make conversation when you already have something in common. <\/p>\n

That one commitment in your diary every week is something to look forward to, as well as guaranteed social connection. <\/p>\n

Fitness apps offer a social aspect, too. <\/p>\n

Results With Lucy \u2013 former TOWIE star Lucy Mecklenburgh\u2019s app \u2013 has a social media feed within it, plus the Results With Baby section has a \u201cmums near me\u201d feature and live 24\/7 chat.<\/p>\n

PLAY HOST<\/h2>\n

Sometimes you have mums to meet up with, but you\u2019re too overwhelmed by the idea of leaving the house. <\/p>\n

Perhaps you don\u2019t have a car or your children are on different nap schedules. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Be the mum who invites others to your house. <\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s coffee and cake or putting on an at-home workout video, you\u2019ll get free socialising with minimal hassle \u2013 and no mum will judge a messy home!<\/p>\n

HIT THE FLICKS\u00a0<\/h2>\n

Everyman Cinemas\u2019 Toddler Club offers screenings of the latest blockbusters for parents and kids aged one to five years. <\/p>\n

A hot drink and a slice of cake are included in the price of your ticket, too!\u00a0<\/p>\n

PICK UP A RIBBON<\/h2>\n

We\u2019ve all been there \u2013 you see another mum in a cafe, you clock eyes and smile, but you know she\u2019s waiting for her tribe to arrive. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s where Anna\u2019s The Mum Ribbon Movement comes in. <\/p>\n

\u201cA ribbon tied to your bag signals to other mums that they can ask you for a spare nappy, a hug or a chat if they feel lonely,\u201d Anna says. <\/p>\n

The movement has gone viral and some cafes and shops have introduced boxes of ribbons for mums to take. <\/p>\n

But you can use any material you have.\u00a0<\/p>\n

START DOING WHAT YOU ONCE LOVED\u00a0<\/h2>\n

Suddenly got more time because the kids are in school or have flown the nest? <\/p>\n

For so long, you\u2019ve been fulfilling their needs, but now it\u2019s time to think about what you used to do before becoming a parent. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

From horse riding to reading, mums forget what brings them joy.<\/p>\n

Restart a hobby you used to love to see how it benefits you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

CREATE A\u00a0 GO-OUTSIDE ROUTINE<\/h2>\n

Loneliness can leave you feeling like you have no reason to leave the house. \u201cThe routines of motherhood can make socialising feel restrictive, and low energy levels can mean you\u2019re more likely to opt for the sofa,\u201d says Anna. <\/p>\n

But by staying at home, the loneliness cycle continues. <\/p>\n

Create a routine of getting up and dressed and leaving the house every day. <\/p>\n

It could be to the local coffee shop or a simple walk around the park.<\/p>\n

Read More on The Sun<\/h2>\n

<\/picture>Gleam queen <\/span><\/p>\n

I love my new Turkey teeth but trolls say they're the worstthey've ever seen<\/h3>\n

<\/picture>FLAMIN-GO <\/span><\/p>\n

Exotic island yet to become popular with Brits – with amazing weather & flamingos<\/h3>\n

You\u2019ll be surprised at how much perspective just being outside gives you, and a simple smile from others can go a long way.\u00a0<\/p>\n