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<\/p>\nDEAR DEIDRE: ASKING my cousin to be my bridesmaid has been an absolute disaster and she\u2019s managed to split the whole family with her divisive ways.<\/p>\n
Initially we fell out over the bridesmaid\u2019s dress because she refused to attend an appointment with me to choose her dress and insisted her mum went instead.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m 28 and she\u2019s 26. She picked a dress I hadn\u2019t seen and which I wouldn\u2019t have chosen. I felt cut out of the whole process, betrayed and angry that she hadn\u2019t involved me.<\/p>\n
Now she has said she won\u2019t come to the wedding, and her parents \u2013 my aunt and uncle \u2013 won\u2019t either. They nevertheless remain close to my parents. <\/p>\n
Now I don\u2019t want my mum and dad to share any details about our day, or our future lives together, with them. But I don\u2019t know how to ask my parents to do the right thing.<\/p>\n
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.<\/p>\n
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.<\/p>\n
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.<\/p>\n
DEIDRE SAYS: Whatever the reason for the fall out, you felt let down and now she won\u2019t come to the wedding at all.<\/p>\n
Despite everything, your aunt and uncle have remained friends with your parents. <\/p>\n
I know you feel your mum and dad should have stuck up for you more, but you can\u2019t control what other people say or do, even if it hurts you.<\/p>\n
All you can change is how you react.<\/p>\n
They also have their own independent dynamic with these close relatives so they will feel stuck between both parties.<\/p>\n
It would be best to let your parents know you feel let down by your cousin and her parents but you understand they have their own separate relationship with them. <\/p>\n
You can say you\u2019d rather not hear about them and hope your parents won\u2019t share details of your life in return.<\/p>\n
For your own sake it would be best to move on. My support pack Rows With Friends may help<\/p>\n
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