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They say you find love in unlikely places, and that\u2019s certainly the case for this reader.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s fallen in love with her mum\u2019s stepbrother and, while she\u2019s not biologically related to him, she\u2019s grown up with him as an uncle.<\/p>\n
The pair want to go public with their relationship \u2013 but know it could cause some serious problems.<\/p>\n
Before you go, check out\u00a0last week\u2019s dilemma,\u00a0where a stepdad is fed up with his partner\u2019s lazy son.<\/p>\n
For the last 18 months I\u2019ve been having a secret fling with my uncle, which sounds terrible but honestly it isn\u2019t. My mum and her brother are only step siblings, and don\u2019t share a parent, so he\u2019s not even blood related to me.<\/p>\n
The trouble is that he and mum have grown up together since they were children and regard one another as true siblings. Of course, I\u2019ve known him all my life and we\u2019ve always been close, but things didn\u2019t become romantic until I was 19.<\/p>\n
He is 20 years older than me and has been married twice before. He has two children by each wife, so yes, he does come with baggage and from a mother\u2019s point of view, I can appreciate he is not an ideal partner.<\/p>\n
However, he always says that the reason his marriages have failed is just because he hadn\u2019t found the right woman, and now he says that in me, he has. Despite the age difference, we have lots in common and now that our relationship is physical, things are beyond fantastic between us. He is young for his age, whereas I am quite mature, so I guess we meet in the middle.<\/p>\n
Mum thinks he\u2019s a bit of a Jack-the-lad and would be distraught if she knew I was involved with him.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think I\u2019m doing anything wrong, but I\u2019m afraid this will drive a big wedge between me and mum and ruin our relationship. How do I break it to her?<\/p>\n
If you truly love one another then you\u2019ll have to make this relationship public sooner or later \u2013 and when you do, be prepared for a lot of strong opinions.<\/p>\n
The person who clearly matters most to you is your mum, who has a lot to take in. I asked our family expert, Dr Hari Rudkin, for her views.<\/p>\n
Dr Rudkin says: \u2018There are so many aspects of this relationship which break the norms. The age gap between you is significant, and you\u2019ve grown up with this man being your uncle. Even without the blood link, this won\u2019t be easy to deal with.\u2019<\/p>\n
Before you tell anyone, Dr Rudkin feels you should talk to your boyfriend about the future. Standing together will help you get through this, so you need to be certain the relationship is secure.<\/p>\n
Dr Rudkin thinks your mother should be the first person you tell. \u2018When you talk to her, be clear and honest about your situation\u2019 she says. \u2018Rehearse what you\u2019re going to say and how you\u2019ll say it, as this will help you stay focussed in the heat of the moment.\u2019<\/p>\n
Your mum will doubtless be shocked, but Dr Rudkin believes that given time, your relationship will survive. \u2018Mother-daughter bonds can weather the most terrible storms.\u2019 she says. \u2018Hopefully, your mum will eventually accept your decision.\u2019<\/p>\n
Keep the lines of communication open, as we never know what lies ahead. Handle this well and your mum will always be there for you \u2013 whatever happens.<\/p>\n