Chrissy Teigen 'regrets' not looking at son Jack's face because she feared seeing him in 'nightmares' months after death
CHRISSY Teigen has bravely admitted she regrets not looking at the face of her son Jack, who died four months ago.
The former model took to social media to share a picture of herself shooting her husband John Legend's music video for the song Wild.
Chrissy was ten weeks along at the time, and "out of my mind happy."
"I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks…not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so," Chrissy wrote.
"He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak. I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born.
"I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse."
Chrissy, who is also mom to Luna and Miles, added: "Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love."
Chrissy confirmed Jack's tragic death on September 30 in a series of devastating black and white photos.
She also penned an emotional Medium essay in October about the harrowing experience of being diagnosed "with partial placenta abruption" and losing her little boy.
"We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn't done anything at all," she wrote.
"Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness."
She revealed how she asked John to take photos and document the experience at the hospital even though he "hated it".
She continued: "I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.
"These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me."
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