We've always agreed we wanted two children but now my boyfriend isn't interested

DEAR DEIDRE:  WE had always agreed that we wanted two children.

But now my boyfriend has announced he doesn’t think we should have a second.

We already have a five-year-old daughter, so I was not prepared for his reaction when I told him I wanted to come off the pill. He blurted out, “That’s a bit soon, isn’t it?”

I admit this reaction took me by surprise so I didn’t handle it very well.
Suddenly I started shouting and accusing him of lying to me.

I’m 28 and he’s 30 – and I don’t want to wait to have another child for a number of reasons: The potential age gap between our children, the fact women’s fertility drops with age and I don’t want us both to be old parents.

I want to get on with the show! Now he’s digging his heels in and saying we can’t afford a second child.

But we both have jobs. He’s a really good salesman and I work part-time in retail. His attitude has made me question how well I really know him.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Can try to slow down to really talk to your boyfriend? I am sure your reaction will have made him defensive.

Take a deep breath and then listen to his concerns. It is understandable that he is worried about money.

Economically, the jobs market has taken a huge hit over the past year. You will probably get a better reception if you put your thoughts forward without trying to point score.

I’m sending you my support pack Looking After Your Relationship to help you both communicate better.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My girlfriend belittles me in public and I really can't stand it any longer

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