We've always agreed we wanted two children but now my boyfriend isn't interested
DEAR DEIDRE: WE had always agreed that we wanted two children.
But now my boyfriend has announced he doesn’t think we should have a second.
We already have a five-year-old daughter, so I was not prepared for his reaction when I told him I wanted to come off the pill. He blurted out, “That’s a bit soon, isn’t it?”
I admit this reaction took me by surprise so I didn’t handle it very well.
Suddenly I started shouting and accusing him of lying to me.
I’m 28 and he’s 30 – and I don’t want to wait to have another child for a number of reasons: The potential age gap between our children, the fact women’s fertility drops with age and I don’t want us both to be old parents.
I want to get on with the show! Now he’s digging his heels in and saying we can’t afford a second child.
But we both have jobs. He’s a really good salesman and I work part-time in retail. His attitude has made me question how well I really know him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Can try to slow down to really talk to your boyfriend? I am sure your reaction will have made him defensive.
Take a deep breath and then listen to his concerns. It is understandable that he is worried about money.
Economically, the jobs market has taken a huge hit over the past year. You will probably get a better reception if you put your thoughts forward without trying to point score.
I’m sending you my support pack Looking After Your Relationship to help you both communicate better.
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