Sex with my boyfriend is never any fun – what can I do?

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN we walk down the street my boyfriend and I turn heads.

People must think we have it all but the reality is in the bedroom it’s an absolute disaster.


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He is 28 and I’m 26. He gets turned on but as soon as we start having sex, he goes soft. If we change positions, he goes soft.

He hardly ever orgasms and his excuses just don’t add up.

He says he can’t have sex every day, he gets too tired and he does all the physical “work”. I thought sex was meant to be fun, not work.

I’ve never had any problem turning guys on before and this is really making me question myself and lose all confidence. Please help.

DEIDRE SAYS: Whatever the reason for his erection issue, it is normally solved by simply stopping sex for at least a couple of weeks. Normally this breaks the pattern of anxiety and his erections will return to normal.

If this doesn’t help, encourage your boyfriend to see his GP to rule out possible medical issues. You both need to talk about this together. Ask him if there is anything else bothering him and it is worth asking him about pornography.

Those who consume a lot of porn, find their experience is “numbed” in real life. And the solution to this is simple – stop watching porn and his erections should return.

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