My big sister has lost her spark thanks to her selfish, lazy husband

DEAR DEIDRE: GROWING up, my sister was always the life and soul of the party.

Boys and girls always hung around her because she was so fun.

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My heart breaks when I look at her now.

She has been ground down by her selfish, conceited husband and the light has gone out of her eyes.

I’m 33 and my sister is 37.

She’s been married for ten years and has three children who are nine, seven and five.

She works full-time and seems to do all of the childcare and housework.

The most I’ve ever seen him contribute is standing by the BBQ cooking a few sausages.

He puts her down and only makes time for his friend ­– who she hasn’t even met.

And yet she is so loyal and insists that “things are just a blip”. But they’ve been like this for over ten years.

How can I help her?

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DEIDRE SAYS: She is fortunate to have such a supportive sister.

Keep talking to her about how brilliant she is, but try to avoid telling her what she should do as this could make her resent your input.

If she wants to make changes to her relationship, then she needs to make that decision herself.

Be there, so when she is ready to open up you can help.

I’m sending you my support pack on self-esteem which may be of use when she accepts she needs to make changes

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