‘I’m A Celeb Jordan’s acting has the nation talking’ says Ryan-Mark Parsons
Ryan-Mark Parsons is back with another Daily Star column, this time sharing his thoughts on the first week of I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, the government's return to Good Morning Britain and Little Mix.
It's safe to say he's not enjoying I'm A Celeb focussing so much on Jordan North, who had been virtually unknown by many viewers before the show.
The Apprentice star has plenty to say about Piers Morgan and Matt Hancock's head-to-head reunion after a 201-day boycott from the government with Good Morning Britain.
And with speculation that Little Mix could be going solo after Jesy Nelson announced she was taking an "extended break" for health reasons, Ryan-Mark is having his say on who will find success on their own.
I'm A Celeb isn’t the Jordan North Show
I’m A Celebrity has been on our screens for nearly a week now.
We’ve seen vomiting, testicles, insects, dirty underwear and heard all of Shane Richie’s farts.
What a delightful programme!
However, many viewers (including me) are getting fed up with Jordan North’s excessive screen time.
The editors seem to adore him, but I’m not feeling the love at all.
There are plenty of other gregarious and exciting personalities that haven’t had the opportunity to demonstrate their worth to the public.
Maybe give them a chance?
I think bosses should introduce a rule to stop a celeb from taking part in consecutive trials, which would relieve some of my misery.
It’s seems so obvious to me that Jordan’s management has devised a game plan ahead of his appearance.
Puking on the first task was a sure-fire way to get the public to vote for him in subsequent trials.
Why does that matter?
Well, the more trials Jordan undertakes, the more airtime he receives, press and social media attention which gets the whole nation talking.
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This will keep him longer in the show.
Long-term, this will enhance Jordan’s notability, keeping his agent and publicist very happy as high-profile work comes through.
It’s all about business, and clearly, he’s using the show as a stepping stone to maximise his media career.
Before, I wouldn’t have known Jordan North from Joe Bloggs if I met him on the street.
Of course, the show has changed that and he knows it.
So keep up the act of being terrified of everything, you’re making your management very proud.
On the other hand, the corny AJ Pritchard has been seen less than the castle’s allusive ghost.
As soon as he got the opportunity to strip, he did.
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Again, he’s probably strategised with management about getting the public’s attention through salacious stunts.
Yes, he’s attractive, but his personality is less flavoursome than lightly salted crisps. Yawn!
Maybe he hasn’t had the airtime because he’s boring, or the editors can’t get enough of Jordan — I haven’t worked it out yet.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to the eliminations. Get rid of the deadwood. Keep the exciting celebs in.
My prediction is Hollie and AJ among the first to go; leaving some of the bigger personalities until the final, which will, of course, include loud-mouthed and melodramatic Mr North.
Piers v Hancock: a lamb to the slaughter
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After 201 days, the government finally made an appearance on Good Morning Britain to face the wrath of Piers Morgan.
It seems very coincidental that the departure of the Prime Minister’s aide, Dominic Cummings, has led to ministers ending the boycott and featuring on the ITV morning show.
It seems Cummings was afraid of his boss’ failures being exposed and his ministers annihilated.
It was a difficult watch, mainly because Piers had been waiting for this moment, and Matt Hancock wasn’t ready for it.
His smug grin, static answers, and lack of sympathy get on my nerves.
Piers’ combative presenting led to several tense moments throughout the interview, especially when Piers asked why the Health Secretary hasn’t resigned based on the multiple mistakes made by the government in handling the coronavirus.
Hancock danced over the question — what else would you expect?
At one point, Piers started to list the alleged government failures to see if Hancock could produce any justification.
Of course, he couldn’t!
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He regurgitated mendacious answers, which will cement further public distrust and continue to hamper the Tories in the next election.
Sometimes, public figures and Twitter warriors complain that the GMB host is too negative or shouldn’t criticise the government for their efforts in these unprecedented times.
Cry me a river! That’s exactly what we need.
I’m afraid sheepish presenters from the BBC daren’t scrutinise ministers in the same way Piers tries to tackle the issues at large.
Keep going, on behalf of the nation, Piers must continue to grill the people responsible for this mess to deter future failures spurred by their ignorance.
Break Up Song coming to fruition
Jade Thirlwall gives update on Little Mix future as they continue without Jesy Nelson
The last time I wrote about Little Mix, hundreds of their devoted fans attacked me on Twitter.
It was great fun.
Now the time has come for the group to go and I really won’t miss them at all.
It has been reported that Little Mix is going solo (like every band to have ever existed), with Jesy Nelson taking "extended time off" for medical reasons.
Each member has reportedly been in talks with managers, agents and TV bosses to launch their solo careers once the band breaks-up.
A source close to the band reportedly told The Sun: "Some of the girls might end up taking on solo projects with their current management team too," and suggested they may come back together like Take That, where members worked on their solo music and later reunited for group projects.
Jade Thirlwall has already started work on her solo campaign, reportedly in talks with the BBC for a selection of presenting gigs.
I always wonder why groups are so fragile?
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We saw this rift develop with One Direction, and now Harry Styles is perhaps bigger than the band ever was.
I guess they get sick of each other over time, and maybe other members of the band are dragging the rest down?
I expect Jade and Perrie Edwards to land the most amount of work, as for the other girls, not much of a chance.
Jesy seems to struggle with the limelight and has been very candid about this in a documentary for the BBC.
And sometimes I struggle to remember Leigh-Anne Pinnock's name.
They seem to be disguising the disband with Jesy’s mysterious sickness; rumours starting after her absence from the final of The Search.
Same old and rather boring narrative, and I expect an official announcement to be made in 2021 while their management continues to bite their tongue.
No More Sad Songs? It’s looking like no more songs at all at this rate.
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